Block vs. blame


Do you ever feel like the world is stacked against you?

Do you find yourself surveying the landscape of your life, wondering why everyone else has it so easy and you’re stuck climbing mountains, rolling down into valleys and then clawing your way back up sharp cliffs?

You work hard… you put in the hours… and you’re still behind. You look at your friends, your competition, your co-workers, your spouse… why do they get to hit the easy button? You start seeing their achievements as a personal offense to your accomplishments and your ability to move forward. How could they? Why would they?

Your inner critic is screaming an endless list of injustices, sabotaging your ability to focus on the real tasks at hand. You find yourself obsessing over how the world has wronged you instead of dreaming up opportunity. You are stuck. Frustrated. Angry.

The blame game


When we find ourselves struggling to move forward, we make a choice to blame others for our lack of progress when our paralysis more often stems from our internal mental roadblocks. We fixate on our competition – their strategies, behaviours, achievements and accolades – convincing ourselves that this “research” is fueling our future plans, when in reality, it’s choking our ability to creatively develop our own path to success.

Simply put, we lose the ability to see the real issues, which means we also lose the ability to recognise the solutions.

When we learn to take responsibility for our own realities, actively identifying the limiting beliefs and false mindsets that aren’t serving us and are subsequently blocking our success, we take the first step towards ditching the blame game.

“If you want to solve a problem, stop participating in it.” – Jonathan Mead

4 simple ways to remove mental blocks


Break the routine


We are creatures of habit. We fall very easily into the same routines, day in and day out, especially those that don’t serve us well. Our thought patterns follow suit, dropping us into perpetual belief systems and false processes that build formidable blocks to our success.

It’s time to change things up. Sometimes, something as simple as stepping out of your daily environment can open up opportunity and begin chipping away at false ideas. Take a walk, go for a hike, take your work to a park or a coffee house.

Stir up creativity by surrounding yourself with a fresh new landscape. Breathe and stretch.

We’re not just talking about your work environment here either. Consider the groups and conversations you regularly participate in. Which fuel and encourage your growth? Which feed the “beast” and allow you to wallow? Perhaps it’s time to meet a few fresh faces and start some new dialogues that will better serve your forward progress.

“Collaboration is multiplication.” – John C. Maxwell

Flip it


When an idea gets stuck in our heads, we need to make a concerted effort to shift our perspective. This isn’t easy, but it’s crucial to moving past the roadblock. Start asking yourself some simple questions…

What is keeping me from pushing past or through this block? If you are stuck in the blame game, you may be fixating on the results you see in your competition, peers and family without giving proper credence to the process that brought them to that point.

Flip your mindset and trigger critical thinking with some key questions like:

  • How are they working differently? Are they doing something that I’m not?
  • What resources are they using? Are they utilizing a tool that I’m not?
  • Why did they win that award? Are they engaging in areas that I’m not?

The key here is to unlock your ability to identify what YOU can do to change YOUR outcome, moving away from blaming them for their accomplishments and moving towards what you can do to produce your own achievements in your own way.

Most often, when we blame others, we are throwing smoke and mirrors to cover up our own fears or decisions not to act. When we flip our perspective, we embrace responsibility and acknowledge our power to take action and produce results. And most importantly… we remind ourselves (often!) how that has absolutely nothing to do with what everyone else is doing around us!

Press on


Every writer experiences writer’s block. Every business owner struggles with new ideas. Every actor has to practice their scenes over and over again. Creating success for yourself takes time, energy and patience. Resist the urge to give up when progress feels slower than you’d like for it to be. Do not allow someone else’s highlight reel to trick you into thinking they were an overnight success and that your efforts are taking too long.

Continue moving forward. Be kind to yourself and trust the process. It will click! And if it doesn’t, you’ll try something else! Behind every outward success, there was an internal process, most of which we don’t often get to see on social media. There are no overnight successes. Give yourself the love and patience you deserve and don’t give up!



Allowing ourselves to write down our internal anxieties and fears will help to alleviate those feelings. Often, when we write them down, we realise how insignificant, or even silly, they may seem. Our inner critic has a wonderful way of making our problems feel so much bigger than they often are. Sometimes, some good old-fashioned pen and paper is all you need to break up with the mental roadblocks that are holding you back.

Not everyone is a fan of journaling, and that’s ok! Find what works for you. Maybe an audio journal, maybe just bullet points or ideas, maybe you draw! Pick an activity that allows you to remove the blame game and leave it behind.

If you’re looking for a little guidance, here is a great read! Try these tips by The Tiny Buddha: 10 Journaling Tips to Help You Heal, Grow and Thrive

Personal responsibility, party of one


Everyone experiences mental roadblocks, and anyone who tells you they’ve never succumbed to the blame game… well, they’re lying. We’ve all done it. The sooner we straighten up, readjust our personal responsibility and ditch the blame game, the closer we are to real progress that will come on our terms, in our timing, in our way.

You have an unrivaled purpose on this planet! No blocking or blaming can keep you from it! It’s time to push forward with a greater focus on what makes you fabulously unique. Your path to success will have many peaks and valleys, but take comfort in knowing that while you may not always see exactly what, when, where and how, every other person on this planet is navigating their own paths up and down, back and forth. There are no overnight successes. You’ve got this! Are you ready to ditch the blame game and keep climbing?

Katy Blevins Calabrese

Katy Blevins Calabrese

Founder and Chief Mum at Chaos and Kiddos
After a lifetime of faking perfection and clawing her way up the corporate ladder, Katy decided to drop the curtain and get real.
Katy Blevins Calabrese
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