In my community of entrepreneurs, one of my absolute favorite themes is:
“You can succeed, regardless of your circumstances. Whatever your limitations, or rather your perceived limitations may be, you can have the business of your dreams”.
It has become a pillar of our brand. We revisit this theme again and again, because people need to vigilant about what they determine is a limitation. So frequently the barriers to our success are these defeated little stories we tell ourselves in our minds about why we are not good enough. And if we are not busy convincing ourselves why we don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of success, sure enough, there will be an outside person more than happy to tell us. Naysayers are eager to bring you discouragement and fear. It’s their job.
Learn To Discern
Getting negative feedback can be constructive, of course. It’s important to gracefully receive criticism. Don’t be a big baby when it’s time to take your medicine. A noble and useful truth can still come with a certain degree of discomfort. You are the one who decides to utilise the information or reject it.
However, some sources of feedback are pure sabotage. Even the people who love you the most can project their fears and limiting beliefs onto you, stopping you dead in your tracks. When the negative messages come flooding in, you have a choice to make. Do I trust myself and push forward, or do I quit? Even the most beautiful women in Hollywood endure trolls who tell them how revolting they are. Some people just love to say horrible things.
Ride Out The Swirls
“What the heck are the swirls?” The swirls are a convenient term some of my friends use for the panic-belly feelings of being triggered emotionally. When you are in the throws of a full-on swirl, you are pretty much useless. To gain clarity, you have to talk yourself back down to centered. Naysayers can push you right into the swirls. Don’t allow yourself to be toppled by the feelings that come with negative feedback. The more you stand your ground, the easier it will get. You are not alone in your swirls. Everyone feels that way sometimes, but you don’t have to agree or identify with it. Think of it like a test you have to pass, or an obstacle in Spartan race that you have to clear along with everybody else. Once the emotion passes, then you can make moves objectively.
Well, Aren’t You Special?
If you have encountered naysayers along your journey, congratulations! You are probably doing something meaningful and brave. I’m serious. Instead of letting negativity from others rock your foundation, get some perspective. If someone has ever said something truly horrible to you, it’s like they not only want you to know you’re not special, but you are especially unspecial.
My high school English teacher once told me, “You’ll end up a cashier at the supermarket.” Fast forward to my career as an educator at Cambridge, and then on to creating my multiple six figure businesses and becoming an influencer amongst my peers. But hey, what do I know? We had a bra factory in my town at the time, my teacher also suggested that I work there. That always gets a good laugh when I tell that story.
The lesson here is that if you have ever been on the receiving end of a naysayer, you can wear it as a badge of honor. Instead of letting it undermine your story, make it the punchline that it is. Recognise it as the rite of passage that every success story has to endure.
Some feedback is useful, and some is complete rubbish. Ultimately, you are the one decides what adds value to your life and what doesn’t. Creating a life your way means being self-reliant. It takes courage to be authentic and true to your vision. The only one who can really stop you is you.
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- Ignore the naysayers: how to create a life your way - January 31, 2018