I’ve had anxiety for years, even as a kid.
It sucks… it’s like a GIANT hot burning ball of fire sits in your throat constantly, you can’t turn your brain off from running a million miles an hour, you can’t sleep and you are in a constant state of tension and stress… every little problem feels like World War III … and even things that aren’t a problem like turning right across traffic, or going to the gym when you don’t know who else will be there, can send you into a full-blown panic attack.
It’s tears, and shaking, and adrenalin, and taking hours to recover…
It’s never fully living your life because you can’t let go and just ‘be.’
It’s always trying to live 5 minutes a day, a week, a year into the future.
It’s trying to predict every single move that every single person will make and the outcomes for every possible solution…
It’s exhausting, its soul crushing and for a long time, it totally crippled me.
Even though you never would have known any of this from the outside.
But I’m better now… and all that is gone… and I don’t really know how to explain that.
It wasn’t hypnosis, it wasn’t medication (props to you guys if that has worked for you ), it wasn’t some magic switch… it’s still there … but the giant ball of anxiety in my throat, doesn’t feel like a soccer ball jammed in there, these days, it’s more like a tiny pea.
It just sits there reminding me to be mindful.
How did I over come it?
I’ll tell you but it might not make any sense at all… it’s a combination of a few things and it probably all sounds like hippy dippy woo woo, so try it or don’t.
It’s meditating daily.
It’s nourishing my body.
It’s doing personal development and learning to be present in the moment.
It’s the mind altering life changing realisation that worry and guilt and fear is all pointless… worrying about something that ‘could happen doesn’t mean it will happen, it just means you’ve wasted time and happiness thinking about it.
It’s realising I cannot control anyone or anything outside of my own attitude and efforts.
It’s the realisation that the more I think about bad things, the more bad things happen, so I know to be positive and grateful each day instead.
It’s learning about the law of attraction, reading countless books by inspirational women.
It’s taking time out to do the things that I love, regardless of what other people think… if I need a friggen’ mani pedi, I’m going to get one and you can jam your mum guilt where the sun don’t shine.
It’s taking my Chinese herb supplement every single night before bed to help me fall straight asleep and fall asleep well, instead of relying on alcohol to turn off and numb my brain.
It’s being a part of the supportive girl squad and surrounding myself with other positive women. It’s been a gradual movement to choose acting out of LOVE instead of fear each day… it’s digging down deep to unpack those buried emotions and traumas and realign my mindset
It’s hours of therapy
It hasn’t been easy but its been 100% worth it
I decided to dedicate 2018 to be a year of healing – so far it’s been messy, emotional, vulnerable… and WONDERFUL
So, if you’re reading this and anything, absolutely anything has resonated with you… please reach out. I managed to accidentally resolve my anxiety myself, but you don’t have to do that if it’s not what’s true to you, seek help, see a counsellor, speak to a friend, ask your GP for some help… just reach out. It is NOTHING to be ashamed off , it means you are STORNG because YOU my darling are still hear despite it all.
If I can do this… me (who can’t spell to save herself and has awful grammar ) me… little old, late to school drop off and forgets permission slips me … you CAN do this!
So stop delaying your happiness… because you deserve to be happy.
Because she knows first hand once you create those tiny humans NOTHING is about you anymore